This picture is from March 4 2010, the day we found her tumor.
Yesterday was a long day. we woke up at 3 am and headed to Ft worth for clinic. I brought all the kids with me. We got there just in time for her 8:30 appt. They drew her blood and we saw the Dr. and talked about the upcoming admission for Sunday. we were done by 11 but had to wait around for her GMCSF shots. nobody had ordered them, so they were trying to figure out if they could get them delivered to the clinic or if they could ship them to our house overnight. I guess there was a lot of miscommunication with everyone, and they finally told us at 2:30 that we could head home and the shots would be delivered overnight. we had been there for 6 long hours. about half way through I was a little annoyed it was taking so long but then I had the thought "be grateful" and I said a prayer of thanksgiving that all the kids were happy. It made me realize that it could have definitely been worse. they were all tired the same as I was, although they slept a little on the 5 hour drive, it wasn't too much. Von could've been crying and grumpy but he wasn't. even Gracie was fairly happy because they had a lot of crafts. that also kept Chloe occupied since they both love crafts. Von was in heaven with all the toys and cars to play with and played the entire 6 hours, only stopping for an occasional snack. and Shad of course played video games the whole time. I was very tired on the drive home being the only one without any rest. the last 2 hours of the drive were the hardest and I had to crank up the music and sing along to stay awake. We made it home right at 8 pm.
Gracie had a kinda rough night with pain and woke up a lot. I was staggering around getting her things cause i was so tired :) then she puked at 6 am. I thought it was appropriate considering today is the 1 year anniversary since we found the tumor...
I woke up Shad and Chloe and told them to get ready, then i went back to sleep. I woke up at 9:30 when Gracie woke up, then I went upstairs, and Von was just waking up as well. I felt a little better after the extra few hours of sleep. The shots were delivered at 10 and she got her first injection. she will have the shots for 14 days to increase her white count. We also ran the milk feeds continuously today and it went ok. Von stayed away from the pole and cords so maybe he is learning. (Hopefully)
I have been very emotional today. Feelings of all sorts keep entering my heart, some good and some bad. I thought about venting how it has been a year of a bunch of crap and I could just hear peoples comments saying to be grateful she is at least still here, etc. Of course I know these things and am so grateful and blessed. I was hoping to be able to just concentrate on the blessings today, but when the day actually came, it was just overwhelming. nobody can tell me how to feel or what I should do this day.
Brandon sent two bouquets of flowers to Gracie and me and of course I cried . Gracie's face lit up and she has kept asking to hold them. She also chose where we should go eat tonight, although I am sure she wont eat anything. My sister is flying in tonight to stay with the kids while we are in Texas for round 3. I'm so grateful for her and to her husband for sacrificing her being gone for almost two weeks. we have such amazing family who have all been so incredible this year! Also we are overwhelmed by the generosity and faith and prayers of friends and total strangers. We wouldn't have gotten through this year without all of you! but mostly we thank God for giving us Gracie as our child and that we are so blessed to have her in our family. She truly is so amazing and strong and teaches us so much every day. What a ride this roller coaster has been and will continue to be. thank you for your continued faith and prayers, we know God hears and answers them!! God bless you